Pitch Dark
by TheInevitableKind
Summary: I saw you. I met you. I wanted you. I liked you. I chased you. I got you. I had you. I loved you. I got bored. I left. One night with Jasper and everything changed. Rated T Jasper/Bella
1. A Brief Encounter with 'I Love Lucy'

**Summary: I saw you. I met you. I wanted you. I liked you. I chased you. I got you. I had you. I loved you. I got bored. I left. One night with Jasper and everything changed. Rated T Jasper/Bella**

**A.N: This is a story that popped in my head and I hope it's entertaining as it sounds, hope you enjoy it !**

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><p><span> Chapter One: A Brief Encounter with 'I Love Lucy'<span>

"Alright good night! Shut off the lights and off those vibrators, it's night time boys." Alice hollered as she walked down the hallway, making sure the order was placed in everyone's minds. I'm sure that wasn't hard, considering the fact that when she yells, it's _very_ loud.

"Do you need some kind of invitation Bella?" Alice asked as I casually leaned on the door frame, "Get inside, shoo!" She waved her hands to initiate that it was time for me to go.

I turned around briefly then looked back at Alice, "Who am I sharing the room with, again?" I asked, crunching my brows.

Alice frowned, "Sharing?" she moved me aside and then sighed in disbelief.

"I mean I have no problem sharing…" I assured her, "It's just one night. We can fix the room arrangements tomorrow."

We tilted our heads to the side as the bathroom door flung open, a cranky Rosalie strolled by us, "What's gotten up your ass?" Alice asked, placing her hands on her hips.

We looked down as Rosalie fidgeted between her legs, using her fingers to pull her shorts loose, "Holy shit, there is something literally up your—"

"Har har, very funny," She mocked, "I will never get used to these." Rosalie muttered, itching her nose in annoyance.

"I would think you would have at least have a 100 years of experience…"I mumbled, unknowingly. This only caused Rosalie to raise her brow as Alice smirked in pure amusement.

"Good one Bella," Alice patted my back, turning her face to be leveled with Rosalie who went back with limping and crumpling, "Go surprise Emmett. They'll be off in no time." Alice winked.

"Well what else would I do? Wear it all night and piss between my legs?" Rosalie shook her head, taking a couple of steps forward, "Good night ladies. Sleep tight, hope the bugs bite."

Alice rolled her eyes, "Drama queen." Alice took a step into the room, intently staring at the beds, tilting her head in the air, in what looked like, a thinking stance.

Then she gasped causing me to walk towards her, "What?" I asked immediately, trying to see if she was hurt or..having some painful vision or something. I shook her for a bit and then pulled back, "What is it Alice?"

"My goosebumps are having goosebumps!" She shrilled, wiping her palm across her hand, "This room is so freaking cold!"

"I thought you guys are naturally cold…." Alice only snorted at my response, patting me once again.

She stuck her head out the door, "I haven't fed myself in a month," she mumbled, "I lose the iciness and receive the warmth…"

A knock caused both of us to stir around, a still Jasper crossed his arms, "I can hear you guys from downstairs, is there any problem?"

"No. No problem," Alice answered, "But what are you doing downstairs?"

"Oh I was getting some water," he sarcastically wavered, "For my pizza." He added to his sarcasm.

"Very funny. Now what's up?" Jasper shrugged his shoulders, moving away the pillow on the sofa, placing himself on there.

"Emmett broke the headboard, so Rosalie and him took my room and then I thought I could adjust but the bed broke and then I found a nice hard floor to sleep on downstairs," Jasper sighed, "and as if the night couldn't get any better, I wake up and hear you two."

Alice nodded her head cautiously, "Bickering," Jasper continued, "Loudly," he went on, "Annoyingly," he just wouldn't stop, "Without considering others and their feelings." Jasper ended, yawning in a purr.

"Sorry about that," I apologized as soon he was done, "We were just having a situation." I moved aside to show him the two beds. He took one look and then looked at me to state that he was just shitting with us.

"And now we have a solution," Alice quipped up, striding to Jasper and pulling him up by his arms, "Jasper can sleep here. Problem fixed."

"Do you have a problem with that, Jas?" He looked behind himself and took a deep breath of relief and then shook his head. Alice clapped her hands and then looked at me, "Bella?"

I placed a firm look at Jasper, "No," I replied, "Of course not."

"Oh, well you never have a problem with anything." Alice laughed, leaning forward to mutter a couple of words of goodbye to Jasper and then placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

I turned away, not wanting to let them feel like there was a presence in the room.

"Kisses to you too Bella!" Alice melancholy said. Then the door was shut and it was just the both of us.

"Sorry about your bed…" Jasper shuffled his feet, shoving his hands into his sweatshirt's pockets.

"Don't worry about it," Jasper mumbled and then asked, "Which bed do you want?"

I was about to answer but then another whiff of the wind swam past me, "Bella?" Jasper called out.

I crossed both my arms tightly around myself, breathing in shallowly to get some warmth, "Bella, you ok?"

I nodded, barely, "It's—it's really—co—cold in her—here." I shivered, tucking a piece of hair that fell in front of my eyes.

I noticed two feet in front of me, "What an arrangement, huh?" Jasper slurred out, "I'll take care of Emmett tomorrow." He muttered.

"What do we do now?" I asked, shivering, making sure to breath once in a while.

"The windows aren't even open…" he stated, moving past me, "It must be the walls," Jasper went to knock on them, "There's our problem."

"What?" I stood beside him, eyeing the plaster and the color of the wall, "I don't see anything."

Jasper chuckled, smirking beside me. He took my hand and then knocked on the _cheap_ plaster, "The walls are thin."

"Air passes through," Jasper lets go of my hand, "and all of them have a habit of keeping the windows open at night…something about getting cool air."_ Great_.

I sat on the mattress, Jasper stood across from me, eyeing the room, "What about you? You don't open your window?" I questioned, thinking questions would let the time pass by. I wasn't going to go to sleep in this weather, so might as well.

"I find it ridiculous." And I thought I was hard to read. His answer was so lucid and so discreet.

I looked away, tracing my hand over the sheets, "I just remembered something."

"And what's that?" I pressed my name into the sheets.

"Alice was saying goodnight a while ago. You guys don't sleep…." I laughed again, "So what did she mean by that?"

Jasper switched on the light, "Occasionally, anyone who needs to feed, feeds. Whoever wants to fuck, stays."

I was a little thrown back by the vulgarity, but coughed myself back to reality, "Emmet and Rosalie." I stated.

"It's usually them," Jasper threw the pillow on the floor, taking a seat near the headboard, "It's best to leave when they're having sex."

"Why?" Jasper stretched his arms, gazing his eyes at me, then smiled. And the way he smiled at me, as if I was clueless.

"It's rough and noisy. Rosalie doesn't keep anything in. Socially or sexually," he wiped his mouth, "I mean about what she says, of course."

"Then why are you here?" I scooted back, to have a closer contact with Jasper.

"Why not?" He raised a brow, "I'm not sexually erected Bella, I promise you that we won't have sex…"

I smiled, "What are you doing here with _me_, Jasper?" I rephrased, spreading my legs out in front of me, "Why aren't you outside?"

"Oh. I'm not hungry Bella," Jasper pulled out his hands, casually, "I just fed myself last week."

In between his fingers was a condom, "So, do you think they left by now?"

"Probably," He threw the condom into the trash, closing his eyes shut, "It's not what you think."

"Explain it to me, then." Now I was beginning to wonder whether the 'no sex' with me was a joke, or not.

"Emmett thought Alice and I would, he was being generous, that's it," Jasper peeked an eye open, "I mean it."

I nodded my head ever so slightly, "Why did you yawn?"

"What's with the questions Bella?" He was irritated, I could hear it. I dropped my shoulders, falling back, pulling the pillow under my head. Now I was going to sleep with a frustrated Jasper next to me, fantastic.

"It's a reflex. Even though my body doesn't regulate the need to yawn anymore, It makes me feel human." He answered anway.

And I completely understood. He had to give up so much for something he didn't want—or later did want.

"Did you want to be like this?" I shut my eyes closed, immediately adding, "Sorry. You don't have to answer that. I'll stop with the questions."

"At first, I felt betrayed. And stupid that the first chance I get to see these beautiful women—I let go of my instincts and fuck it up," Jasper drawled out, "Long story short, I met the Cullens, Alice helped me through and that's about it."

I twisted to face him, "You can take my sweatshirt if you're still cold." His hand was on the zipper, himself already stripping out of it.

"I didn't think it would be this cold…." As he handed his sweatshirt, I grabbed it, adding a smile, "Thanks."

I slipped my hands through, adjusting the sleeves and then zipping up tight, pulling my hands inside, "Your turn."

"Hmm?" I murmured, hugging myself tighter. I overlapped my legs, one on top of another, yawning quietly, "My turn?" I repeated, confused.

"With the questions. You can't have all the fun." He replied, tugging at the ends of his hair, which was even more bronze than the last time. Jasper wiped a finger over his eye, pressing into the lids.

"I guess." Sure, getting asked anything by Jasper is good. We haven't really made ourselves acquainted and this could be the perfect chance to get ourselves to know each other better. The next time I see him at a party, or any occasion, it wouldn't be so awkward. And I wouldn't get ignored as much.

"Why were you OK with me sleeping here?" Jasper questioned, causing me to frown.

"Why wouldn't I be OK with it?" I retorted, not being able to understand why sharing a room would be a terrible idea, "I wanted to get to know you better, is that wrong?"

Jasper snorted.

"What? Do you think I have some other intentions?" I questioned. Offended, I pulled my legs closer to my body, placing my head on my knees, "It's just talking Jasper."

He smirked and right then, the whole atmosphere in the room changed.

"What?" I pressed, completely coming off as a whine, "What is it?"

"We don't get along Bella," Jasper stated as if it was a fact, "Because I come off as someone who is overwhelming and you're just…intimidated by me."

"Intimidated?" I repeated his choice of word, "Overwhelming?"

Jasper nodded glumly, his face straight with no sign of emotion. I couldn't tell where he was going with this and what he intended on doing by asking this question…but like I said; the atmosphere in the room changed, _entirely_.

"No—no! That's not true, we do—we _can _get along. You can't assume that we just won't based on nothing. It's like me saying that all vampires are rude, egoistic, blood-hungry, self- loathing assholes… which is not entirely true for all of them!"

"Yes it is," Jasper corrected, "Each and every one of them. That's how all newborns start out as."

"You guys are over that phase! Everyone in every clan is!" I exclaimed, frustrated.

"I'm as close to a newborn is. Are you trying to say something Bella?" I shook my head immediately, "You sure?"

"Why are you doing this?" I questioned, "What is this?"

"Don't do that Bella. You know exactly what I'm talking about. When I first met you, all I wanted was to snap your neck, fling my teeth into you and drain every ounce of blood out of your body," I cringed at the details, "Your presence is overwhelming. The way I turn when you're around, I _become_ overwhelming—I almost killed you Bella."

"But you didn't." I corrected.

"But I wanted to. I still do. And I'm not stupid and you know how I feel about you so—hence my question. _Why_ did you agree with this?"

"You think I had much of a choice Jasper?" I raised my voice.

"Of course you fucking did Bella. I don't sleep, you know that? It shouldn't matter to you whether I sleep on a hard floor or anywhere else—but it did. Why?" Jasper was being ruthless.

"Because I was being generous. I didn't think at the moment that it would lead you to point out that me agreeing was wrong," I answered, truthfully, "If I knew that you would be a jackass about it, I would have never agreed."

"Oh, whoopdy-fucking-doo," Jasper mumbled, "You think I didn't know that you were being generous? That's all you are—a generous human wh—" He stopped himself, shutting his eyes tight, his breath getting uneven.

"Whore," I finished for him, "So that's how you feel about me?"

"Bella…" he began but I mumbled a 'no'.. "I think we're done."

"No, we're going to talk about this." I lifted my head off the pillow, pissed.

"I know how you feel about me, what else is there to talk about?"I didn't look at him in the eye when I spoke. I didn't want him to see that how he felt about me hurt, "We can never get along, you hate me, what else…" I stopped before I could let Jasper hear my voice crack.

"Bella…" he mumbled, "You can't even answer the question."

I took a deep breath, "Because I want to like you Jasper. I don't want to fight with you—I want to get to know the Jasper that everyone talks about. Now knowing the truth, that seems entirely impossible."

I didn't think anyone could kill me with words. But Jasper's—that was painstaking. Maybe it was my wishful thinking, but I always hoped that he felt something else than hatred towards me. But now that everything is out in the open, what did he expect me to say? I hate you too? Reciprocate something that I've never had?

"Hate is a strong word Bella." I looked up with an intense face, coming to face with a Jasper that had his back turned, his hand running through his hair whilst the other hand was crunched into a fist. A vein ran through his fist, disappeared through his shirt and then re-appeared near his reddened neck. He looked strained.

"You learning to read minds too?" I asked absentmindedly. My mind was magnified at his neck. Color dysfunction doesn't occur to people like him—he was hurt.

"Yeah that's what I'm doing," he snorted, "You've been mumbling it out. Trust me, I don't want to shit inside your head as much as you don't want me to."

When the annoyance in his voice sprang back into my ears, I snapped, "You're an ass."

He laughed without humor, causing me to fume, "Humans."

I stood up harshly, walking in front of him, having contact with him, face to face. When I saw that his face was still emotionless, I sprang my hand across his chest, repeatedly, even if it didn't hurt him a bit. I kept swinging my hand across his chest and then kicked him with a full force on his leg.

He didn't flinch, once.

"What are you doing, Bella?" Then he began to laugh and my punches became stronger, or I thought it did.

His head tossed back, the room filled with his laughs and that caused me to wrap both my hands around his neck, tightly pressing my fingers into his skin.

But he kept laughing—that led me to choke him even tighter.

"Alright," he chuckled, "I think that's enough." He grabbed both my hands and let me tell you, even when it felt like I used every part of my nerve to stay strong, he pulled my hands away from his neck so easily, I instantly gave up.

"You know, if you want to hurt me, the sun's a bitch," Jasper suggested as he lowered his head to level with mine, "Edward knows that."

"Fuck you." I spat and I went to remove my hands from his clasp but he didn't let go.

"Watch your mouth," he warned sarcastically, "I just might have to put a soap in your vulgar—"

"Get your hands off me," I gritted, "_Now_."

He took a stern look at me, when convinced that I was capable of breaking something in his body, he released me, sighing in exasperation. Jasper shook his head, raising his arms to his side, giving me another intent stare, looking at me thoroughly.

"Calm _down_," he whispered, "You're like a raging maniac."

I was going to lean over and spit in his face but then realized that that was just too irrational and my behavior did get rather haste in a short amount of time. When I thought about it—which was for a second or two—he only asked a question…a simple answer was all he wanted. I was blowing this out of proportion.

"I'm not sorry though," I muttered, taking a couple of steps back for my safety, "You are an ass."

"Geez, thank you." He bowed sardonically, his voice filled with sarcasm. As he made his way back up into his straight posture, Jasper swiftly glided to the switches, turning off the light.

"What was the purpose of switching them on in the first place?" I asked, seriously.

"Oh I couldn't get any sleep," he snorted, "But now I feel peachy tired."

He made his way to the other bed, having this keen look on his face—as if he was contemplating how he can make sleeping look entirely possible or believable for his sake.

"Fuck this." He threw the covers on the chair and then slammed his fist into the pillow, making it seem as if this was something he did _a long _time ago, almost getting me to feel as if a pillow never existed in the world and was an old mechanism for sleep, in the 'old days'.

I almost felt how he felt. _Almost_.

Jasper slipped on to the bed, turning his body away from me, myself coming into contact with his back that was silently heaving—god he made sleeping look complicated—sleeping?

"What do you expect to hear from me?" I crossed my arms, furrowing, "What is the right answer?"

Instead of a reply, I heard him feigning a yawn, adding a snore or two.

Completely flustered with his jack-ass behavior, I slipped underneath my covers, rashly pulling the blanket to my neck and releasing my hands to my side. When I came to the conclusion that sleeping would probably calm me down—I tilted to the opposite side of Jasper—back facing back.

Jasper continued feigning sleep, immediately getting my eye to twitch.

"Stop that." I hissed, clasping my hands close to each other, for warmth and to feel safe within my own boundaries.

Jasper whistled replacing the normal snore, going along the pattern of the 'I Love Lucy' theme song, completely remixing it for his relaxation.

I wanted to use my every last nerve to yell at him, to tell him to hop off, to give a distinctive slap at his ruthless face, but the exhaustion wiped me out like nothing that's ever happened to me before—and it was amazing.

I could deal with the bastard tomorrow.

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><p><strong>A.N- Whatcha' think? PLEASE REVIEW ! (:<strong>


	2. 11:11 vs 11:12

**Summary: I saw you. I met you. I wanted you. I liked you. I chased you. I got you. I had you. I loved you. I got bored. I left. One night with Jasper and everything changed. Rated T Jasper/Bella**

**A.N: Here's the next upload, enjoy!**

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><p><span>Chapter Two: 11:11 vs. 11:12<span>

"Jasper," I hissed, suddenly awoken up from a light sleep, "Wake up! I hear something!" I bolted out from underneath my covers, shoving my hands and legs into the air to get some balance after I removed myself a little too fast.

He twisted his mouth and then clenched his jaw. That's all he did.

"Jasper," I whined, completely thrown back by the sound, "Wake up…" I wandered off, getting onto my hind knees and edging towards his bed.

When he wouldn't respond in any way I'd like at that specific moment, I took my pillow and slammed it into his face. I was scared and he was going to have to wake up.

"The fuck Bella…" Jasper groaned, lifting the pillow from his face, "Bella, it's too late for this shit." His wavy hair rustled in front of his hair, hiding his sullen expression, which I was more than thankful for in that sudden moment.

"I heard something," I repeated, clasping both my hands, "It sounded like someone came into the house, I heard the window open and—and then sliding motion—"

"How do you hear that?" He asked, irritated, rubbing his eyes.

I rolled my eyes, "Stop feigning sleep asshole and help me figure this out," I insisted, grasping the sweatshirt closer to my body, "We're in the middle of nowhere and I can't have the benefit of the doubt of being a little scared when I hear something?"

He slipped his fingers through his hair, "What I would kill to get some real sleep," he mumbled, "A deep sleep, preferably. So I wouldn't have to wake up to hear your an—"

I leaned over and smacked him across his shoulder, "Did we not just go through this shit? You're punches are as weak as every other human imbecile out there." Jasper itched at his forehead and then got up on his feet.

"We can talk about my human features later, just go look around, alright?" I ordered, firmly, nibbling on my nail, "There's something going on here…"

"What's fucking happening is they're probably back from feeding," Jasper answered in a droopy state.

That seemed reasonable, "Oh." I muttered, one word seemed rather appropriate of an answer when I felt like a complete moron for asking a question for which I should have known the answer for.

"Well fuck me," Jasper grumbled, causing me to swiftly stare at him, "Thanks for the 11:00 o'clock wake up call Bella."

I rolled my eyes, "You don't even sleep, stop complaining."

"A guy could dream!" He retorted, shaking his head, "And what a dream it was…" Jasper's voice became raspy and rough and that only meant one thing. He was probably dreaming about porn or sex or two girls going wild. Whatever flowed his boat.

"Yeah, yeah," I chuckled, "Sorry about that."

"Aren't you always?" I know it wasn't meant to be heard and I ignored it anyway for his sake. Sure he couldn't sleep, but it was rude to interrupt him from his perverted dreams and fantasies.

I went to sleep but then the door caught my eye, "Why is the door open?"

"I don't know, Alice might have opened it…" Jasper walked over to the bedside, "Why? Scared that I might rape you senseless?" There was mocking tone in his voice which caused me to mutter a couple of words that God should never hear.

"If anyone were to get raped, it'd be you," I claimed.

"Oh yeah?" Jasper laughed, "And how is puny and weak Bella going to hold me against my own will? Is she going to kick me in my balls—which actually has the pain affect to still apply," I rolled my eyes at his suggestion, "Or is she going to knock me out with, I don't know—nothing?"

"Maybe she'll just stick her fingers up your eyes and then nudge you in your balls and then knock you out senseless with her boobs," I answered lamely, "Just a suggestion…"

"You're a fucking maniac." Jasper whispered, as he walked towards the outside of 'our' room, checking the corridor from right to the left and then walked back in, shutting the door.

"I wonder how Edward goes at you without being completely turned off with your sadistic remarks." Jasper mumbled as he sat back on the bed and laid down, completely unaware of how rude that was.

"What a piece of work you are Jasper," I snarled, "I hope you're goddamn miserable in the near future."

"With you adding on to the good ole' Cullen clan, it might just be." Jasper agreed to his own perspective which didn't ease my mood the least bit.

I shook my head, knowing that fighting and arguing with him was as worthless as trying to bargain with a crack-dealer—either way, you're paying the extra 50. Not that I had a personal experience with drugs or dealers but I saw Charlie bust a cookie before—it was amazingly terrifying.

"What the fuck are you thinking about?" Jasper's voice was enough to make me stop pondering, "You're babbling like a maniac, again."

I just sighed heavily and hoped that would release the stress inside of me that built so profoundly due to this asshole.

"So how does Edward do it?" I groaned immediately and turned to face him.

He tilted his head slightly, "Give me back my pillow." I ordered, my eyes wavered to the cushion that was laying beside his leg—more like being playfully handled in between his legs and near his chest.

"You guys don't fuck." He stated, nonchalantly, putting off a tone in which seemed like he didn't give a complete shit of what I was going to say. Hell, there was nothing to say, he knew, what more could I say?

"Jasper, my pillow." I pointed at it, which he then grasped into his hands.

"I honestly don't care Bella." He added, tossing it back to me.

I shoved it beside the headboard, "Then why are you pressing it?" I asked, annoyed.

"You can never simply answer a question, can you?" Jasper turned to the side, not waiting for a reply because I guess he knew he wouldn't expect one, more along the lines of a smart ass remark which would just cause us to feud like ignorant and immature kids.

"You want an answer? When we do have sex, then I'll tell you." I answered truthfully, refusing to act out the way he would expect me to be.

And just when I thought he would just drop it, he asked, "What are you waiting for?"

I groaned, punching my hand into my pillow, initiating that he should just drop it. I wasn't comfortable about talking it with Edward, how could Jasper possibly expect that I would talk to him about _that_?

"It's a question Bella." Jasper stated firmly and I squirmed at the calmness in his voice. He really didn't give a shit.

"I hate your questions," I mumbled, "They're invasive."

He was silent and his even breathing covered the entire room, no other sounds could efface his breaths. I began to count how many seconds it took him to exhale and inhale—it was 9 seconds versus 5 seconds.

"You're not gonna' get pregnant, you know?" I tossed to face him, "You've got it all figured out, don't even need condoms."

Before I went to retort, he faced me, eyes settled and face calmed, "Don't you want kids?" He asked, crossing his arms in a brief manner, crunching his forehead, "Rosalie would kill to be you, you know that?"

"Why does everyone question whether giving up my fertility is worth anything for Edward—"

"That's not what I'm saying." Without going further or expanding his correction, he sighed intently and not another word later, he turned to face the wall; my eyes were back to staring at his neck.

"Did _you_ want kids?" I whispered, this sick feeling erupting in my stomach, no reason to why at all.

I watched as he hadn't changed any factor in his posture. His back was still facing me, my eyes were still trailing down his neck and the snake-like-flutters in my stomach were still there.

"Did you want kids before all this happened?" I rephrased, clasping my hand onto the one near my head, afraid of his answer because it was going to be filled with pity and only worsen the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Don't _you_?" I asked once more and the last time for sure. I wasn't going to push it, he was a human being in a close extensive way—he didn't have to answer if he didn't want to.

Sighing, I tilted to the other side, "Night." I mumbled, hoarsely, my hands still clasped together.

And all of a sudden, the bed shuffled, sounds of the mattress being displaced, covers being thrown in the air, took over. I quickly rushed to turn to the other side, to see Jasper off and his feet placed firmly on the wood floor.

"Where are _you_ going?" I asked, astounded. He didn't turn to reply, talking small strides to the door as if he wanted to hear an apology or something that made up to what I was asking him.

_Why?_

"Jasper!" I called out but he already slammed the door in between the second time I rushed to holler his name,

Flustered, I rushed after him, surprised that I didn't have to go far since the moment I took a right, my face collided with his chest.

"Jesus Christ, Jasper!" I groaned, not wanting him to input _anything_, "You don't have to leave like that, OK? I will never ask you anything personal or invasive, ever! I promise, OK? Just come back to bed…." I pointed to the room we shared.

He smirked and crossed his arms, playfully.

"What?" I asked, confused. His smirk rose into an ass-grin, "What?" I whined.

"I heard something too," he started, slowly, "So I was gonna go check it out, seeing how you probably heard the same one before…"

My mouth cornered into an 'OH', then a faint blush appeared—or you could say a sign of embarrassment, rose into my cheeks, "Sounds…" I repeated, looking away.

"God, you _are_ insane," he pushed past me, chuckling more to his benefit, "And this just proves my point." By this, he means my selective words.

I followed after him quietly, not knowing what else to do.

"Why didn't you hear it before?" I asked, walking down the stairs as he did, peeking a look in the darkened hallway as he did, doing whatever he did.

"I don't know, my dream was too good?" I rolled my eyes, briefly.

Jasper walked into, what was the living room, switched on the light and looked at the room as if it was some labyrinth. He placed a hand to his temple and took a couple of steps away from me. This time, I didn't follow.

He then halted and tossed his head back, hands on his hips, his eyes connected to mine, a sigh escaped his lips and he dived in to say something, catching me off guard.

"Children piss the fuck out of me. Alice and I have decided years ago that even if did go _turn_ a kid into us, I wouldn't be up to that, it's just too much fucking responsibility. I didn't grow up with the 'best daddy of the year' and I'm not gonna raised a kid and fuck it all up. It's not fair to either one of us."

I didn't get a moment to react, "It's never going to be _mine_."

Just like that, whatever was occurring in my stomach, bubbled into what almost caused me to vomit.

I quickly recollected myself, placing a palm over my mouth, "You OK?" Jasper asked, furrowing his brows as he lowered his head because I did.

I wavered my other hand in the air and nodded, barely.

I swallowed a couple of times—my saliva—and nodded once again, this time a little more firmly.

"Fine, thank you." I added, removing my palm to my side, wiping it on my pants, the spit drying up immediately onto the cloth.

"Good." He mumbled more to himself, turning away from me and then traced his steps down the corridor. I didn't know if bringing it up again would cause distress or ease us but whatever it may be, he confided in me—that's what he did. I felt the obligation to push even further. But not too much.

"Jasper," I began, taking a swift turn around the corner, pressing my knuckles with my fingers, "I didn't know it was that impor—"

"It's not. I've got years to think about it. Now, it's just a fucking nuisance to fret over something impossible." Jasper mumbled, opening the door to the spare room, which was empty. A light flickering from the windows made some light evade through the space.

"It's not impossible—"

Jasper snorts, "You haven't been thoroughly informed about the possibility of us reproducing, have you?"

"I'm trying to say something!" I snapped, "So let me finish."

He raises a brow at me, closing the door as he did so, "You don't have to have the need to justify yourself or feel as if you need to comfort me. I've gotten over it Bella, so there is no need to elaborate."

"I'm just trying to help," I lamented, "Since I'm not liable enough for you, I'm going to sleep now." I grumbled, tilting away on the palm of my foot, striding away from him and edging up near the stairs.

Maybe he couldn't read my mind or see the future but he should be able to sense that whatever he was throwing out at me, it hurt. Pissed me off and made me just want to hurt him—hurt him so bad, that I wanted to cry. He made me want to cry.

As I trudged myself up the stairs, I didn't even realize that I was crying until I began to feel the dryness immediately clasp on my cheeks. The sudden change on my face was when I realized that I sobbed over his words, over _him_.

"Again with the sensitivity." I scoffed, picking up my pace and diving into a room, slamming the door to emphasize that he just fucked it all up—us, what could have been a pro-founding new friendship—he's ruined it.

The door opened as fast as I closed it, his steps retracing mine, "Bella." He called out, reaching over for me but I moved myself away fast enough to dodge him but he had reflexes so the next best thing? I grabbed the lamp, tearing the switch away from it's plug and placing it in front of me, shoving it in his face.

He jolted his head back, placing his hands out in refrain, "Get away from me." I hissed, my legs in a foot apart stance.

His presence caused myself to have another relapse, more tears fell down my eyes, "Get. Out."

"Are you fucking crying?" He muttered, confused.

"Don't forget that I have something that can actually hurt you," I used my sleeve to rub my face, "So choose your words carefully."

"That seems a little improbable as of right now."

I gritted my mouth and Jasper mumbled a quick 'sorry' and took a step back, "Stop fucking crying."

I sobbed harder, my chest heaving in contortion, I became breathless and air only seemed to leave and swift through my nose. My mouth was congested with tears and the building of the saliva. My skin itched, around my eyes and by my cheeks. I felt my lips swell as well as the edges of my mouth.

Everything ached from my chest upwards. My neck was clogged with the lack of air that could pass with my continuous wretched cries. The hair clung onto my neck with the sweat as it's connection. The room was warm and awry, causing my eyes to blur, vision was becoming hard to grasp.

"Why the hell are you crying?" He reached over, swiftly, grasping the lamp into his hands and setting it on the side. I didn't even put up a fight because deep inside, I wanted him to tell me it was OK in his fucked up way, I wanted to receive his attention. I wanted his friendship.

The tension was pretty damn palpable if I didn't say so.

He stood next to me and lowered his head, "Fuck, Bella. If you want me to look like a complete ass and spur out my fruity feelings then you should have just said so."

Jasper took my jaw in his hands, forcing me to look up, "Stop crying, Bella."

I gasped for air, "Breathe. Just breathe."

I nodded, careful enough so I could get a stable balance on myself and not end up choking to death.

"Let me get some water. Don't move." He ordered, raising himself steadily, wiping his sweaty hands on his shorts, then tapping his fingers onto his thigh in a calm manner. He poised himself back to the arrogant and discreet guy he was within a matter of seconds.

He made emotions seem so _easy_—refraining even more simple.

When he left the room I followed his example. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes shut to just calm my nerves down. I laid both my hands to the side and brushed my hair back, wiping my face with my shirt to remove the sweat and efface the dryness.

I fell back on the bed in the moment of trance and that's when I noticed—

"Mother Christ," Jasper groaned in what seemed like a close proximity to me. Nevertheless, far, "Two seconds Bella, you couldn't keep yourself fucking composed for two seconds?"

_What the hell was he talking about?_

"Drink this." He opened my mouth and slipped the water down my throat, a little at a time.

The glass left my lips and his arm wrapped itself, securely, around my waist, "Can you get up?"

I lifted one eye, frowning, "This is Alice's room."

He easily carried me and then in a matter of a blink of the eye I was settled into our cold, claustrophobic, 3 dimensional, demented and cheap room.

The last thing I remember hearing faintly was Jasper's mutter, "11:11, make a wish Bella."

I began to lose unconsciousness, "I wish…" Jasper rambled off and then coughed after what seemed like a while.

"I guess I'll wish for you." My legs were lifted into the air and placed on the mattress, soon followed by a blanket that stopped the icy air from my neck down.

He was quiet once again but then I sensed his body tense, "Well fuck me, it's 11 motherfucking 12."

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><p><strong>A.N: REVIEW PLEASE FOR THIS CHAPTER AS WELL .<strong>


	3. Cause'

****Summary: I saw you. I met you. I wanted you. I liked you. I chased you. I got you. I had you. I loved you. I got bored. I left. One night with Jasper and everything changed. Rated T Jasper/Bella****

**A.N: Need some development between the two grinches, so here's just a sappy part that takes a couple minutes of their night. Kind of fluffy, Jasper is still a douche, Bella is emotional—like a girl and Emmett jumps in—somewhere. We always need Emmett and Rosalie, they make this chapter more romantic, in their own fucked up way.**

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><p><span>Chapter Three:Cause'<span>

I groaned and slammed my hand to grasp anything tangible. At first, I grabbed my leg and let go when I felt my ligament de-attach itself from the bone—muscle, the shit. Then I went for my head but the throbbing pain made me pull back immediately. Forcibly, I slapped my hand beside me and came across the lamp/night table.

I couldn't be any more happier, I hit the mother-load.

Automatically, I raised my body and pushed myself off the bed to land closer to the drawer. Pulling it open, with my eyes still closed, I patted my hand inside to hear anything that sounds plausible enough to stop the aching. Any capsule…anything that forms the shape of a pill—that was good enough.

"—Christ, Jasper. What do _you_ want?" Emmett roared loud enough for me to snap my head up, getting my eyes to open in full attention. Maybe it wasn't Emmett, it could have been the small possibility that he said _Jasper_.

I turned and saw that his bed was empty. Shouldn't have turned but I guess it was my wishful thinking that he would care enough to stay and watch and see if I died or not. Atleast if I was breathing.

Then those thoughts spurred out of my head when I watched the clock tick and bang and make those silly noises when it turns 12.

_He stayed for only fifty-shitty-nine minutes?_

I didn't know why, but that angered me. The son of a gun just _left_.

Didn't I deserve a goodbye or any annotation that people do deserve when they are knocked out unconscious? Or some sort of apology for making me tear of the lamp out of it's socket, something?

I dragged myself to the door and with all my might I crashed my ear on the wood, slumping down to get comfortable.

I knew I missed maybe half the conversation because the second thing I heard was Emmett grumbling, "Rosalie is dying."

I snorted at the irony. Ironic how the only two girls inside the captivity of Emmett and Jasper were….dying.

"The only ones who should be anywhere near death is us. Or at least, _me_." Jasper remarked back.

"Why?" And that question caused me to clasp my stomach when I felt the urge to vomit.

I knew what Jasper was going to say. I mean he had to say that it was because of me. Because I was a pain in his ass. Because I made him want to say that he wished he was human because he didn't want to hear me. I made him bear with me. I made him do the inevitable—share a room.

God, I'm losing it.

I pushed myself closer and then hunched my shoulders when I heard them loud and clear.

"Cause'." Was all he said.

One word holding such heaviness that it made me want to squirm. His discretion made me want to swing him because what the hell could you analyze by his reply…? Nothing. Not one goddamn thing.

There was some shifting of their feet against the hardwood floor and a door opening, "I need you guys to keep quiet tonight." Jasper whispered, his voice getting raspy in the end.

"And why the fuck would we do that?" Emmett chuckled.

Jasper took a sharp breath, hissing out, "Because you don't want to wake up to a tree up your ass and have you're balls swinging 100 feet above sea-motherfuckin'-level."

Emmett didn't respond. Instead, there was a groan that escaped—probably—from Rosalie's mouth. It was high and final, it had to be Rosalie.

"You wouldn't be so goddamn uptight if you didn't follow Alice's ass out. I mean, what the fuck are you even doing here?" Emmett's voice was incredulous, "Do not waste the condom. Jesus Jasper, don't you know that by now?"

Speaking of condoms; _If they can't get pregnant, what are they protecting each other from? _Then I sighed, expanding onto my confusion; _Another fucking question that's going to be left unanswered_.

"Remember for one second who hogged my room, you fucker," Jasper gritted, "And then ask me about being uptight."

Silence. Another groan escaped from Rosalie's mouth. A groan that was filled with annoyance and agitation. More silence. The chirps from outside crawled inside and the wind's swift movement caught my eyes that I got lost in transfusion.

Even more silence.

"So where are you sleeping?" I snorted.

That was the million dollar question which Jasper seemingly ignored oh-so-swiftly that I did have to worry about what he was going to say.

He started cautiously, "There's a spare bed…" he wandered off, not ending with whose room the spare bed was located in. Didn't he know that Emmett would just press it?

"Where?" _Ha! Thought so._

"Next to Alice's room." He mumbled. The more I began to sink in his words and his retorts, I began to notice that he was just ignoring to answer the question, refusing to say my name.

"Bella's room?" Emmett offered, his voice hinting curiosity.

"Sure," Jasper muttered, tightly against his lips, "So…just be quiet…"Jasper cleared his throat and shuffled once more.

Why was he getting so goddamn awkward? Ignoring to mention my name…as if he was uncomfortable…and as far as I was concerned, why the hell was he so uncomfortable with saying my name? It was simple. It was just Bella goddamn Swan.

I grasped the door knob and swung it open, just about aggravated and tired from the ache that pounded in my head, watching both their heads snap to look at the person behind the door.

At first, their eyes were at semi-point. I coughed, irritated and Jasper caught me on the ground, crunching his brow, "The fuck…" he whispered, shaking his head as he took a step forward.

I held my palm out, still drowsy from whatever the hell he gave me to drank, "My name is Bella Swan, Jasper."

He stopped, "What?"

"You're hesitating to tell Emmett that you're sharing a room with me! So I'm trying to help you out and ease you into pronouncing my name without any remark," I huffed, exhausted, "My name is Bella Swan. Well, it's technically Isabella, but whatever flows your boat. B-E-L-L—"

"Bella." He breathed and I couldn't help but let the smile that tugged on my lips to take over my mouth.

I was definitely drunk. Or drugged.

"See? That was easy. Why were you hesitating?" I frowned, itching my nose, "There's nothing to be shy about."

"I'm pretty sure he wasn't being shy." Emmett called out and I tilted my head, ever so slightly and caught Emmett waving at me as our eyes met. And I followed with a wave. It was a reflex. A drowsy reflex.

"Jasper was being chivalrous." Emmett elaborated, which I liked.

Then, like an outsider, Rosalie peeked her head out, "The man lacks self control, Emmett. Born in Texas, died a fucking Confederate. There's not a hint of chivalrousness up his ass." Rosalie pointed out, leaving without listening to what Jasper had to say.

And Jasper didn't have much to say except, "Yorkers."

"Alright, alright. Enough. We can all point out our self-markings and this night can drawl into someone biting someone's ass, so just drop _it_," he interfered, a little late, "Tonight's being a pain in all of our asses."

Jasper just growled at Emmett and then dropped his head to look at me, refraining to stare at the guy that was not even done with his _whatever_.

And I tore up, fast.

I couldn't even control myself when I began to weep. My chest began heaving in an abrupt manner that I knew I was looking beyond crazy and acting the way Jasper always said to have sawn me as; a delusional psychopath.

My vision was blurry but it was inevitable for me to not notice Jasper murmuring in Emmett's direction, "Gave a little booze…" and then he shrugged his shoulders, casually.

"I don't—I don't even know why I'm crying!" I sobbed even harder, slamming my hands to my side so quickly that I didn't realize that I have officially ruined whatever chance of recuperating the broken bone or repairing the bruise that etched across my shoulder.

Jasper pressed a finger to his jaw and that smirk did not miss my eyes, "You're laughing at me!" I cried. And cried. And just cried.

My hair found it's way in front of my forehead, casting a shadow between Jasper and I, getting my vision to get even more foggier and darker than it already was. I wiped and sneezed and wept so I couldn't find myself to clear my eyesight for one second.

"No, I'm…I'm just shocked." Which was the last thing he sounded like.

I blew the falling pieces of hair, "Why?" That wasn't what I wanted to ask but hey! I was in a state where I couldn't care less what I did because I just couldn't help myself. If I didn't have self-control, might as well.

"If Edward saw this…" Emmett darkly chuckled, "You're gonna get fucked tomorrow, Whitlock. And not the way you'd like to be, my man."

Jasper sighed, "Are you gonna help or what?"

"I rather watch." Emmett grinned, amused.

Then I heard a smack and an 'Ow!' from Emmett's mouth and that was that.

Jasper grasped my waist and tugged me up so easily that I collapsed into his chest and stayed like that. Because he smelled good. Because he was warm and I was cold. Because I just fucking wanted to.

The tears didn't fall onto my skin anymore but spread across his shirt that floundered his shape. I noticed that his shirt was perfectly altered in a way that I could trail my hand across his chest and find exactly where he was fit and where everything was located.

_Alice's doing._

"You look so beautiful…" I mumbled, caressing my head underneath his arm.

Jasper got silent.

"Even if you are an uptight Texan who was a Confederate…"

Emmett began to laugh so bitterly and loud that I snapped my head from underneath Jasper and wretchedly looked at him, "Oh go get mauled by a bear, asshole." I mumbled.

I definitely had no control, whatsoever.

"She didn't mean that." Jasper apologized for me which I wasn't going to do. Emmett was being disrespectful. Laughing was rude. He was an ass.

"Yeah, she's so harsh," Emmett scoffed, placing a palm over where his heart would be located, feigning a hurt look, a grin still washed over his face, "Booze her more often." Emmett winked at Jasper and then retreated.

There was nothing more to be said.

"Bella…" Jasper looked at the figure leaving and then called my name in an alarmed monotone, "What the hell were you saying?"

I pouted my lips to indicate that I didn't know what the hell I was saying. I was drunk for god's sake. If anything, I wanted to ask 'Why did you give me booze instead of water? Why'd you drug me?'

Instead I said, "I like your hair." I giggled, twirling the curls that were wrapped around my fingers as I went through his hair in a gentle manner. Even though I have lost all my senses, his hair was nice. It was soft and the color was perfect.

"It brings out your eyes." I said as a matter of fact.

He used his free hand and dragged me inside without a grunt or anything that indicated that I was heavy.

Shutting the door closed with his foot, he placed me on the bed, where I knew I wasn't going to go to sleep anytime soon, and made his way to reach for the blanket and wrap it tightly around me.

I smiled even wider as he tucked me in, punching in the pillow for me, removing whatever debris I had beside myself, even shoving the drawer closed.

"You don't know what you're saying, that's all Bella," He flatly mumbled as he grabbed the mustered sweatshirt of his and took a good look at it before throwing it on the rack nearby, "That's all."

"But you are beautiful," I couldn't help myself as I told him once again, "Intoxicat'id people don't—" _burp_, "Lie." _Burp_.

He ignored me once more. I didn't like that one bit. With whatever courage I received from the position I was in, I held his wrist, tightly, tugging it so he would look at me, "I want to see you smile, Jasper." It was a simple request.

"No." Which he denied.

He could have easily let himself out but he didn't, "I don't wanna smile."

"You're so fucking stubborn." The 'f' word slurred out of my mouth and it felt so wrong, it felt tangy and _wrong_.

And that's when he stopped the nice guy act. Jasper ripped my palm that was wrapped around his wrist, throwing it at me, "You need some fucking sleep. Maybe you'll be sane when you wake up and cut this bullshit out."

"I wasn't lying! Your eyes, your hair, everything about you is beautiful!"

"Stop saying that!" Jasper groaned, slamming himself onto the mattress, causing my bed to shift at his sudden downfall.

"That condom wasn't for Alice was it," I changed the route of the conversation, "It was for me, wasn't it?" I also couldn't help the giggle that soon followed.

I knew he wouldn't respond so I went on, "This was such a perfect plan. Alice goes out to feed, you get me fueled up at you so you would get me tricked and somehow booze me up and then you can just fuck me like you probably wanted to do so." Another giggle escaped.

Jasper's voice was sharp and cut through the night, "You listen to me Bella. And I'll say this only once," his voice raised, "If I wanted to _fuck_ you, you'd be knocked out cold before you knew it. If I wanted to take advantage of you, there'd be no fucking way that I'd sing 'I Love Lucy' like a douche. I don't do that shit to people I wanna fuck. So knock it off and get yourself off the high boat you're on and go the fuck to sleep."

He added, "I think we both want the sane Bella back."

I couldn't agree more.

"And that condom," he hissed, "Just because I'm not human anymore, doesn't mean I lose the fucking habit, Bella. Like I said, I wanna feel human as much as possible, even if I am where I fucking am."

And it took me just that for all the booze to absorb it's way out of my body.

"Stop crying and wipe your snot off before you choke on it in your sleep." I did as he said so, because he was sane and he made sense at the moment.

"The fucking nerve you have to accuse me…" he snorted, "A fuck my ass."

I batted my eyes, drying my eyelashes, "Go get mauled by a bear…what the hell was _that_?"

"A joke." My voice was rough and I held no disposition at the moment.

"Did that sound like a joke to you, Bella? For god's sake, you don't say that shit!" And I didn't argue. That was rude of me. Even if Emmett was being a good sport about it and didn't take it offensively. I was just that lucky.

"Sitting on the ground like you wanted your ass wiped," he gritted, "And then—_fuck!_ What the hell was I thinking when I gave you a booze?"

I shrugged my shoulders even though I knew that he wouldn't acknowledge my failed lack of response.

"To think that would help your hand…stupid me. Stupid ideas that I have."

"Stop blaming yourself." I remarked, because I should have known the difference between water and alcohol. I couldn't let him punish himself for something that was partially my fault as well. I was too warped in my tears that I let my guard down.

"Oh no! I still think that you're the one to fuck this up—I ain't gonna blame myself more than 10%. The credibility goes all to you…" He murmured in a quick defense of what he was trying to say.

I rolled my eyes, relaxing when I knew everything was getting calmer and wasn't so subtle anymore. The tension was palpable but it was also dissolving. It was evaporating into calmness. Into a sensible environment.

"I want my sweatshirt back, rinsed and dry-cleaned. The whole nine yards," Jasper stated, "With the fuck that you spat all over it, you better un-spat the shit off, you hear me?"

"Listening." I mumbled, smiling.

"And don't even think about waking up. If Edward finds out you aren't getting any sleep, he's gonna have my balls tied up and roll them up into the size of some Chinese cookie. Son of a bitch will somehow convince Alice, knows everyone's shit and everything…I swear if he even touches me…"

"I'm sleeping." I assured.

Jasper stopped talking, which led me to defend for myself, just a small mechanism, because I wasn't going to push it. It was my fault to the extent.

"Emmett's balls will fall off if he was ever exposed a 100 feet above sea level." I just had to say that.

When my body pinched a little, I adjusted myself, catching Jasper's face in the light that peeked itself out the window and it pinpointed something that made me flutter. Something that made me want to see more on Jasper. Something that made me wanna say, 'I'd do anything if you're doing what you're doing now'.

"You're smiling aren't you?" I grinned.

"The fuck I am." And I knew for sure that it wasn't anything I imagined.

"You should smile more."

"Why?"Was what he retorted with and I knew that he was blushing. For what? Who the heck knows. And why? Who the hell cares.

With the little insanity in me and the little courage that I spurred after his preaching, I answer back, "Cause'."

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><p><strong>A.N: REVIEW (:<strong>


	4. The Angel and the Devil

****Summary: I saw you. I met you. I wanted you. I liked you. I chased you. I got you. I had you. I loved you. I got bored. I left. One night with Jasper and everything changed. Rated T Jasper/Bella****

****A.N: I rewrote this chapter over 10 times and I can say that I'm not so happy with this chapter but Bella will have a transition with how she feels and why she feels for how she feels. Anywho, read and review and if you'd like to criticize, go right ahead. Be soft though, hmm?****

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><p><span>Chapter Four: The Angel and the Devil Part 1<span>

There were four walls, all two-dimensional, colored in white, the paint smearing over each other was not inevitable to notice. The corners were slanted so it looked as if every step I took, the size of my body changed dramatically. One minute I'm small and then I enlarge.

I reached forward and was taken back when my hand slipped through it's context.

_Real cheap plaster_.

Releasing my hand back to my side, I frowned. What's the chance this will happen thrice tonight?

I took a couple of steps forward and smirked when the imprint of my foot were left behind for every move I made. And the imprints were colored in different colors. The white was now blending in with what I made.

Since that made me happy—because white is a blanch color—I twirled around, because I was still giddy out of my dream and I felt like being drunk in my dream.

I twisted, jumped, hooted, bounced, waved my hands everywhere and everything got whimsical.

When I stopped to take a deep breath, I took in the surroundings, smiling at what I made. Everything was colorful. I hippie-fied it.

Just like that, the room changed. I was in a different environment.

_That's been happening a lot too_; With Jasper.

And my head reeled towards him.

God, the bastard really knows how to hit a nerve. And he really knows how to make me uncomfortable to an extent where I just wish I could hide.

He makes me say things that makes me want to squirm! Like what I said to Emmett…Geez, that was just too much. And then he gives me alcohol? Where does he get this ridiculous ass-hindering idea?

Always saying 'The fuck' like it made any goddamn sense. The fuck is not even a phrase or something people should even be saying. Maybe it was some slang he picked up for being dead and nonexistent for over a 100 years. Or maybe it's the things he says to people he's close with…

And I smiled.

He's being close with me. The first time I met him—excluding the fact that he wanted to bite me—he was _so_ distant. As if he was afraid what he could do to me. Never really talking to me and giving me a slight nod every time my eyes met his as if it meant something. Jesus, I'm not a mind reader and those stupid head movements make me want to squirm!

The bastard makes me just want to yell!

_But_.

The mere fact that he controlled himself for 3 hours, the asshole deserves a cracker. He definitely does. He deserves everything he wants to be. He is a nice guy. He is funny. He's fun to be around with. I like being around him. He knows how to make me smile. I like his vulgarity.

_Is that a confession?_ Something in the back of my mind whispered.

I shrugged; the bastard won't know it anyway.

Maybe.

And those eyes. It's worse than the effect Edward has on me—it's so blue that I just want to swim in it. And the way it twinkles when he slightly tilts his head so the moon could bring some light into the room—amazing. I don't think he understands or doesn't get as much as compliments as he should get.

He _is_ beautiful. So beautiful that he was nothing compared to Ed—

I halted, widening my eyes.

I was drunk but I wasn't losing my mind. _Did I just say that?_

"The fuck." I mumbled, itching at my nose, a pit opening in the end of my stomach. The feeling of vomiting washed over me again.

_Did I really say that?_

_Distract yourself, Bella!_

Ok, Trivia:

_Which ocean goes to the deepest depths?_

Pacific ocean.

_What was John Lennon's middle name?_

Winston.

_What gymnast scored a perfect score in the 1976 Montreal Olympics?_

Nadia Co—

"What the fuck are you blabbering about?"

I snapped my eyes open to _his_ abrupt voice, clamping my face to feel the sweat that wiped it's way across my face and on the contour of my jaw.

I gulped a couple of times and swirled to have contact with the ceiling. Then I began to stare. Stare, endlessly.

"Jesus doesn't come in your dreams, Bella. Get the fuck over him if you're having some fantasy." Jasper muttered.

I turned.

Once again, I was facing his back. I wanted to say that I didn't care. But I was so disappointed that I had to swallow back some hope. That just caused the black hole in my stomach to get larger…

"It was strange," I started, licking the corners of my mouth, "Everything was white and—"

"I don't care."

"But everyth—"

"You saw the light?" He interrupted, causing me to frown.

"No?"

Silence. More silence filled into the already quiet room.

"I think you were fucking dying," he mumbled, "And I saved your life."

"_No_." I remarked, pushing the strands of hair to the side so it wouldn't stick onto my face, "I had a dream that made no sense what the fuck so ever and I wanted to—"

"Go to sleep." He groaned, mercilessly.

"—wake up but I just couldn't. And I began to say things and think things and it was just so ridiculous because I never admitted something like that to myself. I tried to blame it on the fact that I'm still trying to sober up but I can't because I said it! I said whatever I felt in my dream!"

And I jumped.

"Are you bipolar?" He took the words right out of my mouth.

I knew he couldn't see me, but I shrugged my shoulders anyway. He couldn't care less, either—about how I responded, of course.

"I told you to go to sleep," he warned, which didn't stop me from smiling, "One minute you're trying to be strawberry shortcake and start some mother fucking friendship with me, then you're the girl that's gone wild and then you become a psychopathic fucker at night? What the fuck are _you_ doing?"

And I didn't respond.

"Christ, you're fucking with me aren't you?" He didn't wait for me to reply. He gruffly turned around, then sighed when he got the approval that his observation was correct, "What are _we_ doing?" He asked me.

"What do you mean?" I smiled. Because he kept talking. He didn't stop.

"One minute you're trying to impair me with a light switch, the next, I'm trying console you to the point where I have to reprimand you—"

"Reprimand me?" I raised my brow in amusement. I couldn't help it.

He sounded sexy saying—

_Stop it Bella!_

He just rolled his eyes, "Yes. Reprimand you."

I waved my hands to initiate that he could go on, which he did. I just wanted his voice to distract my thoughts. I didn't want to feel…God.

His voice made everything worse because it was goddamn—

"I've totally jinxed myself from the start inferring that you were a fucking moron," he drew his hand swiftly through his hair.

And the pit just got deeper. _Is he fucking with me_?

"So you like me?" I rephrased.

"I never said that."

"But you called me a moron. And with the way you said it..."

"I don''t know where you fucking got that from."

"Come on, Jasper, admit it."

"Admit _what_ exactly?"

"That you like me."

He sighed, "No."

"It doesn't matter what you say because in your own delusional way and for the inclusive fact that you have a lack of sleep for over a hundred years, I think you just forget what you say because you're being truthful. Being said that, I _know_ you said that you think I'm a moron and I _know_ that you meant to say that you like me as a moron and you're pretty amused by me. Being said _that_, this strawberry shortcake will be getting your friendship by tomorrow morning." Breathless, was an understatement.

He crooked his brow, "Whatever flows your vagina, Bella."

_I like you too_.

I rolled my eyes, clasping my hands, "Jasper…"

"What, Bella?" And I took a sharp intake of breath when he hissed. Right then, I realized three things.

One, I hated when he yelled at me. Two, I just wanted to talk to him.

_Even if you're gonna vomit_? My mind whispered

And three, I was still drunk.

"_What?_" He pressed.

"Why do you do that?" I questioned, "Always get so annoyed at me as if I'm doing something wrong? I'm just trying to have a conversation with you and I don't fucking care if Edward said that he wanted me to sleep because I just don't...I don't want to sleep."

Jasper released his brows, a tight expression on his face, "That's great?"

I just smiled.

_God, he is beautiful. _Something whispered.

I was beginning to understand what was happening. The devil and the goddamn angel were weighing on my shoulders, giving me advice.

And I realized that I was too afraid to look at my shoulders because I didn't want to see how I would look in a white satin dress with a wrap or in a red satan dress.

"What are you doing?" I stopped. My hand was in the motion where I was going to slam the against my head but it was midway from my shoulder.

I looked at him, sheepishly.

_You know he's beautiful, Bella. Just look at his hair, the bronze hair, falling to his sides, just about. Perfectly cut, like he knows what he's doing_.

That _had_ to be the devil.

And I couldn't help it when my eyes wavered over his hair. It was dirty-blonde and his baby curls mixed in with his shoulder length hair. Then I looked at his eyes. Which just intensified his look. Everything matched, perfectly.

"Are you eye-fucking me?" He sighed, exasperated. With me. With my bullshit.

"No." I half-lied. Maybe I was. Maybe I wasn't. Maybe I was admiring him from afar. Not wanting to screw him like he thought.

"Are you a mindless bigot who thinks that all I want to do is lay you?" I retorted, just to distract myself.

"Oh yeah." He sarcastically murmured, rubbing his eyes. He tilted his head, ever so slightly, sweeping his hand through the edges of his hair, itching the back of his neck.

I saw the red marks across his neck once again, his neck exposed to my eyes once more. But this time, I couldn't stop the small gasp. The small, choked, gasp.

_Bend your ass and just touch him!_ The Devil.

_Don't Bella! Don't do that. Remember Edward. Remember his eyes, those green eyes— _The Angel.

_Eyes that looks like algae? Stare at the mother fucking water Bella! The water is much more sensible than algae eyes._ The Devil.

I gritted my jaw and shut my eyes tight.

"Bella you're fucking scaring me. Like I'm shitting in my pants right now. Can you stop looking at me like that?" He asked. I didn't know whether that was sarcastic or that was a dead serious statement.

_No, because she is a horny girl now. She wants you to have sex with her Whitlock. She wants to see stars spur around her head and unicorns and then see the light and know that it's going to be all worth it when you go inside her legs and just push that—_

_Don't say that!_

"STOP!" I didn't want to scream but I couldn't control my head and I couldn't control anything anymore. I was actually hollering to stop the voices on my shoulders but I wouldn't be surprised if Jasper thought that it was directed to him.

And I wouldn't be surprised if he called me a nut and turned his back.

"Uhm." He mellowed his eyes at him, crunching his brows in confusion, knowing nothing else to say. I guess 'uhm' was appropriate. I guess I was relieved he wasn't that taken back.

"Sorry," I apologized, "Maybe I do need some sleep." Maybe I did.

Without another word, I plopped myself down, but this time, I faced him.

I saw him look right back at me, his brow twisting into even more confusion.

It didn't take me more than two seconds to break. After being all eccentric and what not, I got whip-lashed. I completely broke down.

My lips wobbled. My chest began to heave and my neck tightened at the lack of air I refused to inhale. Everything began to throb, from my head to my nose, to my eyes to everything.

Again.

_Do you always cry like you're on steroids Bella_? The Devil.

_Oh, Bella! Don't cry…_The Angel.

"Alright," Jasper muttered, throwing his legs into the air, straightening to sit up, "What the fuck did you dream about?" He asked, leaning over so he could switch the lamp on his side of the bed.

I didn't respond.

"Bella, I don't have—" he stopped. He stopped midway and pressed a palm to his head, taking a deep breath, "What'd you dream about Bella?"

I waited for him to look at me so I could say something. But he just stayed there, at the end of the bed, both his hands on the sides of his thighs, clasping onto the mattress. He bended down a bit and I really saw him. I saw his neck and then I saw the spine that detailed itself through his shirt.

God, this shirt was exposing.

His spine started from his neck and all the way down, even beneath his chest, almost underneath his…

I wiped away my tears so I could see him more clearly.

He was fit but bony. How does that work?

_Well, if you fuck too much, which is a given probability since he's been on this world for a while now, he can look fit as he wants and the nerves when you —just adore the view, Bella! _The Devil.

Adore it?

How could I adore something that is so private? Or someone who is so frisky?

"For fuck's sake." Jasper muttered, rubbing his palms against his shorts, wiping his nose as he stood up, adjusting his slippers onto his feet.

Before I could ask _anything_, he looked at me, pointing a finger directly at me, "Sometimes I like being surrounded by humans. Sometimes I don't. With you, I couldn't give a shit because I don't have a choice. But when I'm spending the night with you and watching over you," I went to say that he didn't have to, "Because _I _want to," he added, "I'm not going to fucking sit around here and watch you talk out of your ass."

I placed a palm over my mouth so the sob wouldn't whimper it's way through my lips, shutting my eyes tight, "I feel what you feel. Your emotions. I can't read minds Bella. Hell, Edward even can't," he sighed, "All I know is that you're feeling so sick to your stomach that it's overpowering. I feel your pain and I don't know why you're in pain. I'm struggling as much as you to understand _why_, alright?"

He snorted, "You'd know why you're in pain. I don't. I mean, I've been trying so fucking hard to make this situation calmer and _normal_."

That explains why the environment always changes so suddenly. He's toying with my head.

That explains how I feel about him, right?

"I can get Edward if you're feeling like talking with me just doesn't make sense. Maybe he'll help you."

His face was still emotionless.

"I like trivia." I mumbled, wiping away my cheeks.

_I didn't want Edward_.

"OK."

"It distracts me. Whenever I'm uncomfortable or in a place I'm scared and I'm afraid to confront it, I do trivia."

"_Oh_."

"Ask me something," I suggested, "I mean you do have over a 100 years of material." I laughed.

He struggled at first. On what to do. On whether that was the right thing to do, "Are you sure you don't want Edward?"

"Yeah," I shrugged my shoulders, "I'm fine-" he raised a brow at me, "I mean, I'm kind of delusional but nevertheless, I'm fine."

"And the dream? What happened in the dream?" He asked me, pressing his lips tightly against each other, "Was that what was bothering you? Is it still bothering you? Am I making any sense to you?"

"Distract me," He was good at that, "That';; clear my head."

He hesitated again, wrapping his fingers around his hand, a crease etched into his forehead.

"Alright then," He cleared his throat as he took a seat on the comforter beside the bed, laying back, "Where do you start?"

"Anywhere."

He chuckled as he placed both his hands behind his neck, searching the ceiling as if he was looking for the right, "Bring it on then, shortcake."

I smiled. I was still crying. But it was silent. Like how Jasper and I always find ourselves to be whenever it gets _too_ awkward.

"Where did the term 'the whole 9 yards' come from?"

"WWII, from the fighter pilots," he answered casually, "From the Pacific. When they shoot those .50 caliber guns and they get their target, something like that."

I rolled my eyes.

"What animal's urine shines at night?"

"The fucking cats," He muttered, "I hate those fucking things."

"That's a strong word." I whispered.

"Yeah, a strong word my ass." He muttered, clasping his hands as he growled a bit.

"You just meowed." I pointed out.

"I growled," he corrected.

"What's the difference?"

"Bella," he warned, "_Next_." And I rolled my eyes. He's the only guy that's been able to make me do that more than anyone else. He has that effect on me. He has an effect on me.

"Almonds are a member of what family?"

"Peach."

"The nation anthem of Greece has how many verses?"

"158."

"Who was Time magazines 'Man of the year' in 1982?"

"The computer."

"What's the only rock that floats?"

"Easy," he mocked an Italian, strewing his fingers in the position Italians usually do when they're being a smart-ass, "Pumice."

"When were sneakers invented?"

"1917 and did you know that they were called—"

"Keds? Yeah."

"Is that the best you got?" He raised a brow, smirking.

"Who earned infamy for noting: A billion dollars isn't worth what it used to be?'"

"Hmm," he mumbled, "Can't be Ford or Roger so…Getty. The Paul one," Correct, "This is just easy shit."

I ignored him, going on, "Which nation gave women the right to vote first?"

He chuckled, "Alice won't let me forget it at all," he mumbled, "New Zealand."

"I dreamt about you."

"I dreamt about you too—" He halted, snapping his eyes open.

To say the least, I was not prepared. I was ready for something but this, I wasn't. I blurted at the spur of a moment and really didn't think twice before I did so.

"I guess this is where you say 'the fuck'?" I looked away, "Or something like that."


	5. To the World, I'm Edward's

****Summary: I saw you. I met you. I wanted you. I liked you. I chased you. I got you. I had you. I loved you. I got bored. I left. One night with Jasper and everything changed. Rated T Jasper/Bella****

**A.N: It's been a while and this chapter was written in a short amount of time- but without further adieu, here's the next chapter! REVIEW, don't forget !**

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><p><span>To the World, I was Edward's<span>

I couldn't receive any sort of answer. The door knocked and opened—interrupting everything.

Jasper snapped his head to look at the head that peeked inside, "Didn't want to wake Bella up." Alice quietly mumbled, her posture slightly slanted.

Guess she couldn't see me.

I waited for him to reply but Alice didn't receive anything as much as he would to me.

I guess he was like this with everyone, even Alice.

"Emmett told me to check up on her, heard you—"

"Son of a bitch." He hissed, straightening himself up on the recliner.

"What the hell were you thinking when you did that? Edward was going to have your balls, Jasper! How could you possibly—where did you get the booze from? We don't drink…" Alice stated as matter-of-factly, "Edward was going to kill you if it weren't for me."

I winced at the mentioning of Edward. If Edward knows that I got drunk into next week, it was something I didn't need right now. If he were ever to lay a hand on Jasper…heck, I don't think I could have watched that or let him do that.

"I stored up."

"We don't fucking drink, Jasper!" She raised her voice and then hushed herself in the end. If anything, they're conversation seemed quieter than it should have to me, if she lowered her voice even further, it was like I couldn't hear anything.

"Emmett thought—"

"Thought what? What could you both possibly do with alcohol?"

"Jesus, Alice. Get off your fucking high horse and stop reprimanding me as if I did something wrong! If you're going to be a fucking mother, get the fuck out."

"Oh that's just great, Jasper! I'm trying to understand and save your sorry ass so I can get yelled at? I have some questions and that's me being instigating—"

"I never said that." Jasper interjected.

"You don't have to. I can tell how you feel, asshole."

"I thought that was my job?"

Alice sighed, "Stop being a smartass. Answer the questions. Stop dodging it. It's not helping you, at all."

My first instinct was to speak and try to denote the fact that I was liable in the room and not feigning sleep, but kept my mouth shut when Jasper glared at me, his eyes seeping and telling me to _Don't say a fucking word_.

"If we ever got a bad deer or elk, we thought we could puke it out with em'. You know how I—how Emmett gets when his food doesn't taste no good? Just doing a favor for both ourselves."

For the first time tonight, his Texan accent kicked in.

It was soothing for the most part.

I shook my head, immensely. Advocating my movements to a slight drill, so Alice wouldn't—

"You guys are fucking idiots."

"Sod off, Alice." The tone in his voice was final. I guess Alice couldn't understand that. Or ignored it, completely.

"Edward was furious, you know? Ready to blow off and kill a vampire or two. I held him back with a disposition."

"I couldn't give a rat's ass how Edward feels." Lie. He lied blandly through his teeth and glanced a look at me as if he was searching me to notice if I realized it too.

And I did.

"Oh stop with the testosterone act," Alice huffed and I could see that it aggravated him. I could tell with the way he tore his contact away from me and glared at the door, shoulders hunched and lips tight, but then I had a second thought. He was _always_ composed like that, "You owe me nights of mindless sex, Jasper."

And I tensed. Because Jasper tensed. Because I saw how he opened his mouth and then shut it when he found no words coming out. I saw how he didn't look at me then but had a look in his eyes that seemed as if he was going to point out that I was in there, awake.

Was he twisting with her feelings? Or her mind? Was that possible? I thought it was only other's emotions he could alter? _What are you doing, Whitlock_?

And he got up. Used both his hands to jolt on the hardwood floor. Jasper wiped his hands roughly against his shorts, when that didn't ease off the tension, he tugged at the ends of his shirt to dissipate the wrinkles that overlaid the satin cloth.

Jasper struggled to take a step forward, looking down at his feet as if he was contemplating on what to do. He wistfully swiped a hand through his locks and ricocheted his hand to his side—it could have been a blur—but I bible this, I swear that I saw him notion me—as if he was asking me whether or not leaving was appropriate.

He shrugged with his palms. His face was away from me but I knew that he didn't think leaving with Alice would make the right annotation after what I had to say. He didn't want me to get the wrong connotation?

That caused the color to efface of my face.

I could sense that Jasper could feel the color in my face drain out, I realized that when his eyes flickered momentarily at me.

"So fucking noisy, Alice." Wording couldn't have been anymore offset.

"Then come out here, idiot."

He grunted, shoving his hands into his pockets. I could see that he didn't want to and his brain was still struggling to do the right thing but in the end, I noticed that he noticed that he didn't have a choice.

Jasper walked aimlessly through the door, slow and intensively. As if he didn't want to leave.

I opened my mouth to protest but then I remembered the way he looked at me.

_Don't say a fucking word_.

When he hinged the lock after his body disappeared into the hallway, I tossed myself near the door, pressing my ear against the wood frame, hoping that they didn't go too far from here.

And it wasn't a complete failure for me to hope. Because they were still outside the room.

"Where are the rest?"

"We came across the Denali Clan," Alice's voice was nonchalant, "I guess that also got Edward distracted."

"Cause' of Tanya?" Jasper asked.

You could say I stopped breathing. You could say that Edward still had an effect on me. You could say that I didn't like that Edward's old flame still had a control over his feelings. You could say that it made me feel territorial.

But after today, you can also say that:

To the world, I was with Edward. No one knew about my feelings, no one except me and the guy I feel 'attracted' too. You could say that I was being hypocritical; because I was frustrated with how Edward began to feel for Tanya when I began to feel something 'new' for Jasper. You could say that I was beginning to feel something for Jasper that wasn't going to go away.

Then something inside me lit up.

Did Jasper understand that I began to feel something for him? That it was more than I could possibly retain or understand. Did he understand that the alcohol has nothing to do with it? Did he understand that I look at him differently? Did he understand that he _also_ has an effect on me.

That too, in a matter of four fucking hours.

"Tanya brought someone new." I could hear the smirk through her reply.

A little shuffling of feet and then—, "Old flames don't die easy."

Alice snorted, "More like, Tanya brought a wolf."

"_What_?" Added with a incredulous, "_Who_?"

"So much to tell!" Alice piped up, "You really should have come."

I guess this is where I would hear why he didn't really leave to go outside.

"I told you, Alice," Jasper murmured, "I fed myself, already."

Same old, same old.

"What happened to and I quote 'Bella needs to under—"

"That too." Jasper interjected.

Bastard had a timing.

"Emmett and Rosalie were pretty pissed off you know? Not everyone is happy with you tonight. With what you did to Bella, then to Emmett and then having the nerve to speak like that to Bella, thank you're lucky stars I didn't tell Edward."

Silence.

"Tell Edward _what_?"

"You're profanity is soaring through the sky. And then intimidating her with the possibility that you might have sex with her? Not cool, Jasper."

"You had a vision about that?"

"Edward wanted me to seep through and see how Bella was doing. Instead, I lied for you."

More silence.

"Aren't you going to ask me why?"

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to." Was all he said.

"Because you're my asshole, idiot. Don't do that again. You're going to scare her away. Wouldn't want that. Edward is finally in a good state, happy and what not, so don't ruin it for him."

"It was a joke!" He retorted. And it sounded defensive.

"I know that," Alice mumbled, "Just be careful. Bella doesn't know you, _yet_. She doesn't understand how you act and what you do and why you do it. You could come off intimidating."

Too late for that.

"It was just a joke." He repeated. I didn't know whom he was trying to prove that too.

"Bella's awake isn't she?" A different way to turn the tables, I see.

No response.

"Were you trying to mess with my mind?" Her voice was calm, enough.

Nothing.

"Jasper."

More shuffling.

"So, what? You thought that if you jumbled with my head and let a flood full of emotions flow through my head that I would negate the fact that I could actually see her sitting on the mattress?"

"Didn't want her to be uncomfortable."

This time Alice kept quiet.

"You were loud and aggravated. You usually ignore everyone around you when you're pissed so. I thought I was doing her a favor. Sorry about that." He mumbled.

But I knew he wasn't.

"Why'd you go along with it if you knew?" This time it was his turn to ask.

"Because I know how much you want to build a friendship with her. If you make an ass of yourself, that would ruin it, hmm?"

Jasper cleared his throat, "What'd ya' mean?"

"It was clear as daylight to spot her! I could sense her awake, idiot. If I pointed out when you were trying to divert her away from our conversation, it would be foolish of you. I don't understand how she would be less uncomfortable if we talk over her though."

He didn't respond.

"And that sex comment. Oh god! I think lust was playing in motion."

Even more silence.

"What was your disposition?"

"You're jumpy today." Alice kippered.

I could hear the shrugging of his shoulders.

"I said if he didn't kill you tonight, him and Bella could go hiking on the trail that he planned for tomorrow's hiking. Emmett wasn't too happy about that, since he wanted to mess with Bella, but Edward—with a lot of convincing—resigned to it."

"You are good at convincing."

"Awe, thanks babe."

I swallowed at her choice of words.

_To the world, I was Edward's_.

"Yeah." His reply was awkward.

I think he knew that I was listening on them. Like last time. I also think he knew that even if he knew that I knew, it wouldn't lead me to stop ease-dropping. Not after what I said.

This could be the reason that his responses were haste and short.

This could be the reason why he looked at me for an answer to whether leaving to talk to Alice was the right thing.

So I came to the conclusion that he did understand what I told him, earlier.

"Are you leaving again?"

"That's the plan." Alice replied.

"OK."

I knew that it was inevitable that they wouldn't depart without a kiss, so I went back and crushed into the mattress.

I shut my eyes closed and clamped both hands over my ears so I wouldn't have to hear their goodbyes.

And in that moment, I snuggled myself into the mattress. I pushed my back against it's comfort and a groan escaped my lips when the realization hit me that I was soar and tired. I was famished and the lack of sleep was noticeable. I realized that I needed to sleep and that it was going to be entirely impossible tonight.

But I couldn't stop myself when my eyes willingly closed shut. Nothing, no my part of my body, was forced. I was willingly letting myself fall into a deep trance. I was doing it with my will.

In the sudden moment, I curled my legs against my chest and hurdled my head in between both my thighs, wrapping my hands tightly against my calves.

I could take advantage of this small time I was left alone without _his_ presence.

I wasn't exactly napping because I kept thinking. But I wasn't exactly awake. I was in a trance in which my head wouldn't stop reeling. I was in a state where I was sleeping but not really sleeping.

I was thinking in peace.

I was thinking about simple things, at first. Because I didn't want my head to hurt too bad. I didn't want Jasper to immediately creep his way into my head and ruin the trance. Because he had that affect on me.

I thought about the cabin. I thought about how beautiful it was. I thought about the architecture and the wood that was flourishing the whole house with it's pine-scented smell. I thought about the plaster in the rooms, I thought about how the rooms were badly put up. I thought about how the flow of the wood was cut off when it came to the bedrooms.

I thought about how I liked the wood, everywhere. I thought about how easy it was for the room to get cold. I thought about the sky.

And things got complex.

This led me to think about Jasper. Without even knowing about it.

I thought about his eyes, _again_.

His blue, creamy eyes. The way his pupils sparkled and dilated when I looked at him directly made me want to squirm and praise myself for noticing something off-guard. The way his eyes, twinkled even in the darkness. The way his eyes made me forget everything. The way his eyes had a deeper effect than Edward.

_To the world, you're Edward's._

Then things got even more complicated. Things were worse when Jasper went inside my head so I guess things were getting even worse.

I thought about the last look he gave me before our interruption. I thought about the way he itched at his nose and creased his brow in—confusion? I didn't know. And I wouldn't know.

I thought about how much he left me answerless. I thought about how I would never receive anything factual from him. I thought about how that affected me. I thought about how that made me want to talk to him even more. I thought about how I liked how discreet he was.

_This was how Edward must feel about me. Always telling me that I was hard to read and that was one of the reasons he was attracted to me—he found me mysterious, he found me interesting, he was enticed_.

Exactly how I felt for Jasper. But I didn't know whether I was attracted to him or not.

Because I was fucking confused.

Because I couldn't make up my mind in a confession that occurred a couple of minutes and because I could sense him beside me.

I fluttered my eyes open, slightly positioning myself in a way that I wasn't entirely curled in myself and was giving some eye prospective to him.

"Sorry about that."

"Are you really?" I had to ask. If I could tell that he was lying when he apologized to Alice outside and I couldn't tell if he was lying to me now, I _had_ to ask.

He sat back on the recliner, "Yeah." And he smiled.

That was how I knew he was telling me the truth. The smile. The way he looked at me and was entirely amused with how I was able to catch that outside.

"So you were listening?" I could also see that that wasn't his question and that he already knew the answer, but I didn't push the boundaries that just found itself with our position.

I nodded my head, not sheepishly or embarrassed. I did it with the uttermost pride because I wasn't ashamed of it.

"Sorry about that, again. If I knew Alice was going to…I would have locked the door." He chuckled.

I knew it was a small way to light up the mood so I chuckled after him.

And then he looked at me. With anticipation.

I attempted a smile. Why? Because I knew he wouldn't ever look at me like that again.

"What the fuck was I doing exactly in your dream?"

I guess this was where I regained my breathing.

"Do you want to talk about this?"

"You blurted it out. I have no choice."

"Hence, blurting it out."

Jasper huffed, annoyed.

He gets easily annoyed. Another thing, I noticed.

"I think you already know, anyway." I chatted.

"I'd like to think I'm wrong."

And the disappointment was in my face. Here I was, saying and expressing how I felt to a guy that I wasn't even with and here he goes to make me sink to rock bottom.

"No, I mean, not _that_. I've always felt like I fucked up when something stupid happens and this is the same as always, just angry at myself for…" he stopped, "Shit, Bella. You looked like you were going to fucking die."

"Well you don't think so?" I replied, "I'm fucking confused."

"But that's just it," he chastised, "There's nothing to be fucking confused about. You love Edward. I love Alice. I'm from the left field and you're from the right. You don't have to make this fucking complex and—"

"On second thought, I don't want to fucking talk about this." I snapped because he had that effect on me.

"Bella." He groaned.

"I can obviously see you're going to be shallow minded about this."

"More like, astonished. Don't I have the benefit of the doubt after what you said?"

I settled once more back into my pillow and hoped this would be the last time I'd ever have to make a movement, "Don't I get the same benefit for saying that?"

He didn't say anything.

"This is the alcohol talking." He assured, "It has to be. We'll be laughing about this in a couple of hours. If you still remember."

It was my turn to stay quiet.

I really wanted to believe that. I really wanted to believe that nothing would change with Edward and I and with Alice and Jasper. But that would be me speaking out of my ass. Because it was too late. Because I noticed something that he didn't.

I noticed the way he smiled at me unknowingly and how he assured _me_ without trying to wreck me out with a disapproving remark. I noticed the change that he didn't.

"You think I haven't told myself that?" I muttered, "You don't think I hope to god that's the reason to how I feel about you?"


	6. That was an Understatement

**Summary: I saw you. I met you. I wanted you. I liked you. I chased you. I got you. I had you. I loved you. I got bored. I left. One night with Jasper and everything changed. Rated T Jasper/Bella**

**A.N: Some improvement. I can say there is at least another chapter left? Oh and I answered a couple of questions in here- REVIEW (:**

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><p><span>Chapter Six: That was an Understatement<span>

I pushed away his hand, which he kept poking at my hip every second or two, groaning with a—, "We need to talk."

My reply: "Too tired."

We went back and forth for a while, until—until _I _gave up.

"M' OK," I waved away, shoving my nose into the confinement of my feathery pillow. I wiped my cheek against it's friction, letting the softness comfort me.

"We need to talk." He repeated, stubbornly, agitated. Like always.

"I said," I grumbled, raising my head an inch into the air, "Kay'." With that, I collapsed.

"How the fuck are we going to have a decent conversation if you're laying down?" Jasper sighed, "How the fuck am I supposed to talk to you if I can't—see your f—get up!"

And I did, not before collapsing again.

"Can't." I mumbled, licking the corners of my lips, so the dryness would wash away. I didn't like it when my lips were rough and raspy.

Jasper reeled his hands under my waist, grasping my hip, pressing his fingers into my skin, making me cringe. I placed my hands over his, which were smaller compared to his, trying to fight off his clasp, so I could let my skin back to it's complexion. The reddening color was a distraught look.

"You're hurting me." I said, as a matter-of-factly.

Jasper forcefully twisted me to face him, using his other hand for support as he raised me up. He caught my groggy head and placed in on his shoulder, completely crashing me against him. I took that as an opportunity to let the sleep wipe over me, taking advantage of my position.

"Don't you fucking dare," He growled, releasing my waist, springing his hands to straighten my shoulders, which were slanting over his body, "I don't fucking think so."

"Whaat?" I yawned, itching at my nose when the need to do so arrived.

When all failed—to hold me up—Jasper slammed me against the headboard. If that didn't wake me up, I don't know what could.

"Ow!" I cried out, clamping my mouth shut tight to stop the whimper from escaping.

"For fuck's sake, be quiet." He hissed, his hand still clasped around my neck.

I tried to fight him off, without much strength, so it wasn't surprising when that failed, "Jasper…!" I cried, feeling the tightening of my throat.

"You awake now?" He asked.

I struggled again.

"Yeah."

He crunched his brows at me, "You fucking sure about that?"

"Yes." I replied immediately, with no hesitation.

And he released me. My hands were still wrapped by his, but he let go.

"Don't. Ever. Do. That. Again." I coughed, briefly. I wiped my nose and let the snot rinse onto the tip of my shirt, smudging away the debris.

He grumbled an absent 'whatever' and let go of me completely. I watched as he stumbled a step back and tucked his hand underneath his legs, "Start."

I itched at my head, "With what exactly?"

His eyes glared right at me, "Get it off your chest. Whatever was going on in your head, get it the fuck off."

I stared at him.

And he scoffed.

"Jesus Bella," he groaned, "Say something. Don't look at me like you're fucking confused."

And I kept quiet.

It was an understatement if I say that he snapped. It was appropriate to say that he was just about ready to kill someone.

"You know what?" He tried, "I'll make my own mother fucking scenario in my head and try to understand this. If you think I'm getting somewhere, oh please do fucking stop me." Jasper sarcastically drawled out.

I couldn't find myself to say _anything_.

It wasn't that I was tired. It wasn't that I was awake. I just didn't want to say anything. Because I wanted him to say something.

Because I'm fucking confused.

And then I found _something_ to say:

"You said there's nothing to talk about. Telling me it was all in my head. Why do you want to talk about it then? I mean, it must have been the alcohol, right?" There was bitterness in my voice, tanginess, saltiness, anger, everything.

He pressed his lips tight against each other. Looking at me in thought.

"We can blame it on anything that makes you happy. We can take it the easy way out and just—"

"This is the fucking problem! One minute I'm trying to figure it out, but you couldn't give a shit. The next, I'm trying not to figure it out, and you begin to give a shit. When I want to talk, you don't. When you want to talk, I don't. We can't go back and forth with whatever this is!"

He took a deep breath.

"I want to talk to you about this because in three hours, you and I fucking aren't going to ever talk about anything. You and I will never spend this much time alone, and that's a mother fucking promise, Bella."

And I got scared.

That he was right. That he _is_ right. Because in a matter of hours, we'd be on our separate ways.

That convinced me to open my mouth.

"I feel something for you. I don't know if it's an attraction or it's me speaking out of my ass, but I feel something for you," I began, "And I can't stop it. I _don't _want to stop it." There it was. There was the truth.

"I don't want to stop it." I repeated.

He sighed.

"I don't know why I don't want to stop it. I just don't."

He grumbled, "Don't fucking cry. Don't you dare."

I swallowed back what could have been my tears.

"We don't have time for that." He mumbled.

"And there you go ignoring it," I muttered, "You don't want to hear it, do you?"

He shook his head, "What am I supposed to do, Bella? I can completely blame this on myself but other than that, I can't do anything about. All I can say is that I'm sorry and you better fucking forget about whatever is happening in your head, but that's not in my hands. I want to say that maybe you will understand how you feel in the morning, but that's not going to happen, either. Tomorrow—in a matter of hours, we can't talk about this. I want to keep it that way. The only way I can do that is if you just, lack of a better word, forget about it."

"Forget about it?"

"I said it was a lack of a better word."

"But it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt any less."

He groaned, slamming his hands against his forehead, "You're making this fucking confusing. Just stop it, alright? We can't argue like this. You have to forget because if someone catches onto this, we're screwed. You're screwed. Edward will go into that deep turmoil place that he was in when him and Tanya were apart, and I can't be responsible for that. If you break his heart, my life will be fucked and yours as well."

I felt like something just crashed. I felt like I needed some air. But I didn't say anything.

He was thinking about this as much as I was.

"Edward loves you Bella, that should be enough."

"I can't just push how I feel about you aside, Jasper," I flatly said, "If I do that, I'm just putting it off for later. And if I do that—Edward has plans for us both, things can get deeper between me and him. If we just…talk about this—"

"Isn't that we're doing?" He asked.

I pressed a finger to my temple, "I—"

"Do you like me?" He interrupted, "Like, like me?"

I didn't know if I did. But if I said that I didn't, that would be me lying. That would be me trying to half-lie. That would be stupid. I wasn't going to say something to make him happy. Because I'd be lying. _And_ it would follow us later on.

"I don't know." I answered truthfully.

Guess he didn't like that.

"What do you mean?"

"I might." I concluded.

"What about Edward?"

"Nothing's changed. I still love him."

Silence.

"How the fuck do I fit into that shit?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "_I don't know_, Jasper."

Silence.

"You had a scenario in your head, is it going your way?"

He grumbled, "I'm off the fucking charts with this one."

I placed my palm on my throat, tracing over where he pressed into me a while ago. It felt warm and I could still find his presence, as if his hand was still there, suffocating me. Choking me. Threatening me. To do nothing.

"What would make you forget?" Jasper questioned, "About the feelings, of course."

"Where are you going with this?"

He fidgeted causing me to sit up higher.

"Jasper?"

He tilted his head away from me.

"Is it because you're not having sex with Edward? Are you missing it out on something and wanting to lay one on me? Because I understand how it feels to be your age and seduced and enticed for the wrong reasons. It can really hurt you and I completely understand why you want to—why you feel the way you feel."

I felt sick to my stomach.

"It's all—it's the age. It's the hormones. Are you on your period?" I saw the hopefulness in his eyes. You could say that that broke me.

"Fuck _you_." I spat out.

He just shook his head, "I can see that's your clear intention…" And then he shut his eyes tight, "I didn't mean that."

"Uh huh."

He frowned.

"Please just tell me that you're on your period." I could see that he was praying.

"No."

He bowed his head down.

"_Fuck_."

He swiped a hand quickly through his hair, "I want to blame it on something. Anything. This will fuck us up both."

I didn't say anything.

Jasper grasped both of his hands, "Maybe some answers will do you some good."

"For what?"

"So we wouldn't have to rush into talking about this."

"I thought you wanted to talk about this? Get it over with?" I reminded him.

"It's not working."

I nodded my head. Because I wanted to hear this as well.

"I know you heard me and Alice talking," he started with, "I guess you could say that I also knew that when Emmett and I were talking. That's why I was uncomfortable. No—let me start over." He was hesitating.

" We don't sleep, so it doesn't make any fucking sense to why I'm in this room with you, on the bed, next to you. I get that," he assured, " I thought it would be a good idea to get to know you better and have you wipe away that memory that you have of me. Of me trying to attack you, because I'm not a bad person. I was trying to show you the real me. Because you're going to be part of us, one day, and I want to know you as much as the next person. I wanted you to be comfortable with me."

"Why didn't you just tell me that?"

"I made a fucking first bad impression. I let myself slip _too_ far. I cursed and shit and it made me look like an idiot."

"What?" Disbelief in my voice was apparent. I wanted to tell him that it was the last thing I thought, but he wasn't finished.

"Alice knew that. I was transferring some messages to her. I told her that I feel guilty for messing this shit up. That's why we were talking so discreet when she came. I guess Alice kind of set this up. I thought I was going to talk to you on the trail tomorrow. And then—do you remember when she asked me whether I was OK with being here? She transferred a vision to me and I knew that it was her plan for us to spend some time together. To get to know each other. That's why I agreed, Bella."

He took a breath or two.

"And then Alice shoots at me about how I was making you uncomfortable, which I already knew, so that's why I was pissed off. She wanted to help us talk to each other but at the same time, she wanted me to be fucking—stable. The night just got to me."

He cleared his throat, "When I thought we were getting somewhere, you said that and everything—that threw me off, Bella," Jasper shook his head.

"I just had to tell you that."

He nodded, "I know."

I guess some things got cleared up.

"I don't think you're an idiot."

"Thanks."

"I never did. I never will. I like you."

He tensed. He looked at the wall and then slowly, slowly—

Jasper looked at me, no emotion in his face, "You know you have to stop looking at me like that, Jasper."

"Like what?" He asked, straightening up.

"Edward says that he fell in love with me because he can't read me. Because I'm different. I make him weak," I shuddered, "I can't help but finally realize why Edward feels the way he feels for me because now I know. Because that's how I feel when I look at you."

Something in his face clicked.

"_Fuck_." He repeated.

And I laughed. That was appropriate, "I guess so."

Jasper was hyperventilating. Or that could be an underestimation.

"I should have fucking frowned when I was upset. I should have smiled when I was happy. Goddamn it!"

And that made me smile.

"That was just a factor."

He looked away.

"You're right. We need to fix this, right now. Get this over with. Do something about it. OK, I'm on board. What now?"

As if I knew the answer.

I shrugged my shoulders, "You're going into this too fast."

"That's because I understand now. Let's get this over with," he stopped himself, "We can fix this, right?"

"I don't know," And I really didn't, "M' sorry."

He fidgeted again.

I let him do his thing. Whatever he needed to get _his_ head cleared.

So I turned to stare at the watch and watched myself groan. It was getting late. Or should I say, early?

I turned back to look at him. He had his head in his hands, shoulders tensed and what not. Like how he is, all the time.

"Where is everyone?" I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders, "With the Denali's."

"Tanya's there."

"She brought a wolf."

"I know."

He snorted, "Oh yeah. Why wouldn't you?"

I ignored him, "Alice made it seem like Edward—Edward missed her."

"Nah."

"You sure?"

He snorted again, "You sure you even like me?"

"Yeah. Why would you ask that?"

"You sound protective of Edward."

"I love him."

"Well, fuck me," he chuckled, "You make it sound so easy. To like me and love him."

I smiled.

"So," he began, "It's final? You like me?"

I didn't realize the words I said until I did. I guess I did like him. I guess it was finalized.

"I guess so."

He stood up and wiped his hands on his thigh.

"OK."

_OK?_

I frowned.

He saw the look on my face, "You wanna tell Edward or should I?"

"What?"

"It's not gonna go away. Let's tell Edward. You won't feel as guilty nor would I. So let's go tell the guy and get this over with."

Where did he come to this conclusion?

"That's going to help?"

"Yeah."

"No it won't."

"Yes, it would."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes. Fuck, yes."

"Are you insane?"

"Kind of."

"No!"

"Oh for fuck's sake, this is going to help." He walked swiftly for the door, not looking back to see if I was following or not.

And he didn't have to.

I followed.

"It won't help!"

"Well we can't just sit in there and figure it out for ourselves. So let's just work with what I have planned, right now. It's going to fucking work and we're going to have a fucking happy fairytale ending."

"But Edward will forgive me!"

Jasper stopped at the end of the stairs.

"Isn't that you want?" He crunched his brows.

"No. I don't want him to forgive me."

He slammed his hands against his thighs, "Why not?"

"Because."

He took a step up, "No," he mumbled, "You can't say that. 'Because' is not a fucking plausible reason!"

"I know he'll forgive me, easily. I don't want that. Heck, I don't want him to know."

"It'll help us. Make it easier. He'll understand."

"That's just it," I argued, "I don't want him to understand."

"You're not making any fucking sense."

"If we tell him, he'll forgive me because he loves me. I don't want him to know how I feel about you. I don't want him to forgive me."

He went up and up even further up the stairs. He was pissed.

That could be an understatement.

"I don't understand what the fuck you're saying and I don't want to know where you're going with this," he was in front of me, "What the fuck are you saying?"

He was close to me.

I felt his breathing, I smelled the mint. I saw the small trail of freckles across his nose. I saw his even cut side burns, I saw his curls, I saw the depth in his blue eyes. He was _that_ close.

"Bella," he quietly mumbled. He was calm. His eyes searched mine and I became speechless, because he was so goddamn close. He was _that_ close.

He looked at me and then sighed, "I don't know where you're going with this," he wavered, "But you're scaring me." And I heard the fear.

My eyes wavered over his. I saw the confusion that he felt.

"You're scaring _me_." I responded.

He looked and looked. He didn't say anything. He just looked. I watched as he stammered, kept opening his mouth once or twice, but no words came out. I watched as he tilted his head and tensed. I watched as he stepped back and flickered his eyes at me.

I watched as he pushed past me and ushered a quick 'hello' at the person at the end of the stairs.

I turned to look down as well.

I saw Esme and I saw the look on her face. As is she heard everything. Maybe that was an allusion, but either way-

I began to cry.


	7. Epilogue

**I decided that this story needed an epilogue more than anything. Thanks to anyone who has read this story and has been patient with me! Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><span>Epilogue<span>

I tapped my foot lightly against the bar stool, letting my fingers drop in a verbatim pattern. If it weren't for the softness of the table, I didn't think I'd be able to stay so quiet, or so intrigued.

I let my head fall on the comforts of my laid out hand, snuggling my nose into my denim jacket.

If anything, the familiar scent felt comfortable.

Felt safe.

So it wasn't a bit odd for me to cringe when I felt the presence of someone that I just _didn't_ want to.

I buried my face into the crook of my elbow, letting my fingers fall to my side.

The person didn't respond.

And then—"I know you're awake."

I kept quiet.

"Bella…."

I didn't even open my mouth.

A heavy sigh filled the contorts of the room. This got me to lift my head up.

"Leave me alone." I mumbled, keeping a straight face at Tanya.

When I saw that she dropped her shoulders in defeat, I placed my head back into my hand without a second doubt.

I heard her feet shuffling underneath the wooden floors.

"Can't you get it through your head?" I tilted my head to peek an eye open, "I said leave me—"

"Yeah, I heard you."

The voice changed.

"Now get up." He growled.

I opened the other eye as well.

"No."

"Get up."

"Screw you."

"You're tired, Bella. You need to eat something."

I shook my head, "No. No, I don't."

"We can go through this same shit over and over again. But I'm not in the mood today, so with that in mind—get the _fuck _up." He hissed.

I didn't respond.

"Fine. Stay here and starve to fucking death. See what the fuck I care." And with that, the door slammed.

To be relaxed would be the least bit of an understatement. I might have not minded him slamming the door, or him walking in, but the mere fact that he showed up—that made me wanted to vomit.

He hates seeing me—No…he hates seeing me like _this_. And the fact that he **came**, means I did two things.

One: I screwed up.

Two: I'm an idiot.

Then again, I'm in a hopeless situation.

I went to bow my head and waited. I waited for myself to cry. Like always, what I usually do whenever _he_ does show up. I cry. I sob. I feel bad. The whole nine yards.

One problem though—

The door opened again.

Jasper reappeared…. this time with a jug and a straw protruding out of it.

I crunched my brows as he slid his way towards me, an emphasis on every step.

"Drink it." He shoved it in my face.

I looked at him and shook my head, mumbling a, "No," to get it through his thick head.

"_Drink it_."

"No." When I really meant 'yes'.

"I'm not leaving." He retorted.

"I'm not drinking it." When I really meant 'I'm sorry'

"Yeah you are."

"You can't force me." ….Meaning 'I will. I swear.'

"Fucking drink it." He only cussed when he knows that he won't win the argument.

I smirked.

"Don't give me that look," He growled as he set the glass beside my crouched hand, "I hate that fucking look."

I nodded in agreement, "Well I hate making them."

Jasper scoffed.

"I wouldn't have to chastise you everyday if you just drank the goddamn thing," he turns to give me a stern look, "Do you like getting under my skin, Bella? You enjoy me losing my shit? Huh?" He grunts as if he already knew the answer.

Knowing I've caused enough distress, I relinquished any reason to _not_ drink the blood and took the straw to my mouth to slurp ever so fervently.

He reluctantly sat beside me, coughing to cover up the-well I would have to go back a couple of weeks to explain the complexity of this situation as well _us_. Long story short, he coughed whenever he felt uncomfortable. If it wasn't easy to tell, Jasper had a hard time expressing his feelings. And I wasn't going to force him to start now, no matter how frustrated I was with his ambiguous behavior.

Why?

I was scared. I was scared that whatever he felt in his mind was something I expected and the crap that boggles in my head is nothing but inauspicious shit.

"Did you go for a hunt?" I asked, wanting to clear the air.

Jasper sighed, "Of course I did, where else would I be?" When he realized the irony in his answer, he approached his reply in a different direction, "I went to the peaks. The border of Canada had a stinging and pungent smell. My senses were getting rather erotic there."

"Erotic?" I raised my brow.

"Lack of a better word." He stated.

The silence was back.

I went back to tapping, instead, this time, I used the forefront of my fingers, only because my cuticles were well beyond damaged,

letting myself ease back into the sanctuary I was in before I was interrupted.

In the past couple of months, this _strange_ pattern had occupied my mind in many ways than one. When I felt like I was going to burst, I would engage this pattern through my foot. When I felt happy, I would hum it in syllables I didn't know existed. When I felt sad, my tears would cry, incorporating the verbatim pattern.

It was soothing.

Jasper didn't question it because he thinks that it's helping the baby. I honestly don't understand where he has come to that conclusion but I could see that it was better than the irrational one: That I have lost my mind.

Either that or the mere fact that Jasper was feeling guilty that because of our bantered sex life, I turned into a walking replica of Tim Burton.

He cleared his throat, again.

I looked up, wanting to give my irrevocable attention.

"It wasn't hard to convince you."

I was confused.

And as the mind reader he was, "To drink it." He went on.

"_Oh_." I mouthed.

"I'm sorry I yelled."

I snorted, "Why are you apologizing? I was the one being a pain in the ass."

Jasper sat quiet for a second, "Well I won't disagree with you on that."

"Of course you won't." I slurred, pushing the glass away.

He glanced at the empty glass and then back at me, "Do you need more?" He then wavered his eyes at my stomach, waiting for a response.

"I'll find out soon enough." I grunted, grasping the counter for some leverage.

He made this unresponsive sound that got me to glare at him, "You don't have to come here and look at me like this. It's not like I wasn't going to drink it, you asshole!"

"I bet you weren't." He smart-mouthed.

Obviously, it didn't help this situation at all.

He raised his arms out in front of me, "Before you decide to retort with a rather distasteful remark, I want to put out in the open that I'm not here to fight with you and that I will agree right **now** that I am an asshole and that it's taking me longer than usual to get accustomed to this," he waved his hands at my belly, "but everything I say or do is completely out of the impulse of a under-developed and immature brain."

He exhaled.

"I'm sorry." He tried once again.

"If you keep saying sorry, it's going to loose it's value." I reminded him.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I'm rather uncontrollable around you—and if you haven't noticed already, you deserve an apology for every single thing I say to you."

I smiled.

When he saw that, he mutually reciprocated the reaction.

"I didn't mean to say _any_ of that—"

I cut him off, "It's fine. I honestly don't want to digress and yell at you once more."

He dived right back in, "I met Carlisle there."

Now I completely understood why he was so irritated.

After that night, something changed in my feelings for Edward. It was never the same and as much as I tried to listen to Jasper and just forget, I kept thinking about him, constantly.

When I couldn't take it anymore, I cornered him in the contents of my dad's place and bellowed into a rant that lasted for only a few minutes for that was how long he could manage to control Alice from seeing any of our conversation.

I told him that I felt something for him and that I was getting a mild case of separation anxiety.

He reluctantly admitted that after a couple of weeks that he wanted to be with me as well, and here we are.

32 days later, no Cullens, no Charlie, nothing but me and him. And of course, the reason to why we left in the first place.

I became pregnant.

The sex was great and that became our biggest enemy. It was the only time that he ever cradled me and it was the only time that I ever felt intimately close to him. I saw his vulnerability and that's what made me keep coming back.

Of course, when he found out I was pregnant, we never had sex again.

He was in complete denial for about 3 hours before _our_ baby decided to slightly kick my belly when I was directly looking at myself in the mirror, with him right beside me.

If that wasn't enough proof, the skeleton like appearance I gained after a couple of days, completely shook him off his feet. I started to see fear in his eyes and I knew that he knew that it was real. This child was real as anything.

He knew that if we stayed in Forks, it would cause me enough distress to lose the baby and I could see that he **wanted** this child even though he wasn't keen about expressing it.

We left and ended up at Tanya's cottage, god knows why.

The last time I saw the Cullens was 32 days ago.

"What happened?"

Jasper exhaled, "Carlisle said that he heard from the other clans about you," he stopped to glance a look at me, "That you're pregnant."

I felt sick.

"I told him that I was going to tell them but he said it wasn't a big deal—he asked me how you were doing…"

I nodded.

"I told him that you were fine and that we got a solution to how to keep your body generating with it inside of you…the blood..he laughed and then he offered to drop by and give—"

"That's great, Jasper."

"Some help." He finished, as if I didn't say anything.

I broke into a small smile as I reached over to rub his shoulder.

I knew it hurt him more than it hurt me when we had to leave Forks. The Cullens were his family, his 2nd chance in life, they were his—everything.

"That's great," I repeated this time, even more sternly, "I can't wait."

He set his eyes on me, "Uh huh…" he drew out in a short breath.

"You don't sound too happy." I noticed, crunching my forehead in worry.

He rolled his eyes, breaking out into a wide grin.

That's when I knew that the moment was over. I was never going to approach the subject again because like I said, he hated expressing his feelings.

I dropped my hand to my side.

"You know, he's going to come and see you all Norbit looking and what not," he chuckled, "Fucking awesome…"He sheepishly laughed as he turned to walk towards the door.

I frowned, "How sweet of you," I muttered as I followed him out the door, "Where are you going, now?"

He kept walking, his chuckle not an echo away.

"Jasper!"

He turned to look at me, "Not that your belly looks fat or anything…"he assured me.

I shook my head at his idiocracy, "Where are you going?" I asked again.

"I mean, it just looks like someone played a bad joke on your—"

"Yeah. Yeah. Screw you. I get it."

Jasper grinned, "I love _you_, you know that?"

I chuckled, "Uh huh. I bet you do."

He nodded, "Take care of my baby, Swan."

"Yeah. Yeah."

His voice became distant as he yelped, "I love _you_, you know that?"

I nodded my head as I began to hum.


End file.
